class schedule

Upcoming Classes & Workshops
Check out Adam's classes at Lighten Up! Yoga and at the Old Firehouse in Barnardsville, NC. You'll be glad you came. Click here for more information on all of Adam's classes.
Bad Jokes & Stretchy Quotes
Bad Yoga Joke #1
Three yogi hermits are doing a meditative vigil in a cave. One day there’s a sound outside the cave. Six months later, one of the yogis says, “That was a goat.” The cave is silent once again. About a year later, another yogi says, “That wasn’t a goat, that was a mule.” Again, the cave falls silent. About two years later the third yogi says, “If you two don’t stop arguing, I’m leaving.”
Bad Yoga Joke #2
A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.
Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

Bad Yoga Joke #3
What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Zen Pizza Parlor? “Make me one with everything.”

Bad Yoga Joke #4

When the Yogi got the pizza (at the Zen Pizza Parlor), he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said “Don’t I get change?” The proprietor said, “Change must come from within.”
Token Horse Joke
Q: What did the pony say when he had a cough?
A: I’m just a little horse!
Random stretching quotes:
1. "I wake up in the morning, I do a little stretching exercises, pick up the horn and play". -Herb Alpert

2. "Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet." -Jeremy Bentham

3. Someone once said, “Too many people confine their exercise to jumping to conclusions, running up bills, stretching the truth, bending over backward, lying down on the job, sidestepping responsibility and pushing their luck.”

4. “He taught us Drawling, Stretching and Fainting in Coils.” – Lewis Carroll


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